![]() ![]() To use reflective listening, listeners must use open body language and direct eye contact when listening to speakers’ verbal and nonverbal cues. Spouses, significant others, and friends can also find reflective listening helpful to enrich their relationships by improving communication. This type of listening can also be used for counselors and therapists to use as their clients explore their problems and feelings and desire solutions. It can be helpful in professional settings between peers and between supervisors and employees. There are several situations when this type of communication is useful and fulfills its intended purpose of validating the speaker as a person as well as showing acceptance of their feelings and thoughts. In this way, speakers come up with their own resolutions or solutions to their difficulties. The goal of reflective listening is for speakers to be encouraged more than in typical conversation to fully express their beliefs and thoughts since speakers know that those listening to them understand and empathize with what they’re saying. They provide reassurance to the listener that they are listening and understand what they’re saying. In this technique, listeners are entirely focused on the speakers and what they’re saying. This listening creates a space for the deepest and most effective communication between two people to take place.Reflective listening, or active listening, is a communication technique. The premise of Reflective Listening is that the speaker knows best what he/she is experiencing, the listener helps the speaker see it by reflecting it back as a mirror would. When a person listens without passing judgment, it frees up others to be authentic, to express themselves and to accept who they truly are. If the person speaking gets defensive, the listener remains non-judgmental, hoping to open up the space for true communication. Whatever reaction Tom has, the listener continues mirroring what he hears, helping the speaker sort out his own experience. Tom's possible reactions are: (a) He feels understood and free to explore the subject more in depth or (b) He feels discovered and may try to deny to the listener and to himself his feelings of jealousy. Notice how the person listening did not question the validity of Tom's feelings, the listener just reflected in his own words what he heard. Listener: You think Laura should have gotten a smaller raise. She's been with the company a lot less time than me, and she hasn't done anything significant to merit a raise. Tom: I wonder why Laura got a bigger raise than me. ![]() The reflective listener recaps the message in his own words. This is different than paraphrasing, where words and phrases are moved around and replaced to mirror what the speaker said. Summarizing what the speaker said, using the listener’s own words. The mood will be apparent not just in the words used but in the tone of voice, in the posture and other nonverbal cues given by the speaker.The listener will look for congruence between words and mood. This calls for the listener to quiet his mind and fully focus on the mood of the speaker. Mirroring Mood of the speaker, reflecting the emotional state with words and nonverbal communication. ![]() The listener encourages the person to speak freely, by being non judgmental and empathetic. This doesn’t mean agreeing with the speaker, just viewing things from his/her perspective. Genuinely Empathizing with the speaker’s point of view. This calls for reducing or eliminating distractions of any kind to allow for paying full attention to the conversation at hand. The chart shows the options the listener has in a conversation, and how a reflective listener would chose (shaded boxes).Īctively engaging in the conversation. The following chart is adapted from Communication in Organizations, by Dalmar Fisher. The reflection of words and emotions makes the person feel understood and him/her a space to get to the bottom of his feelings and his experience. You listen in a non judgmental way and then mirror what the speaker is saying and feeling using your own words. How do you reflect? You tune in to people’s words, nonverbal messages, and mood. ![]()
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